Life -as seen from the train-

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So the train started its flow, towards Oslo, so damn lucky to be in Oslo, filled with wooden artifacts, very warm with no need for a stove on the winter days, very soft and cool on the summer days, I was so lucky in that lifetime, I was wondering why my guardian angel was so good towards me.

All I had was that candle, a lemon scented candle that was very prone to a burning disaster, but that was there, presently with me, a very good wine, cheap as fuck, and a warm light that dimmered the forms of the room into a variety of mixtures with the company of the candle that felt awesomely warm, but the warmness had one flaw and only one flaw.

It was the hardest decision I ever had to do, to the point of telling my mermaid that "I will never EVER separate from you again". but that's life, a journey right? so with this words i will try to describe the reality of my dream, that one where I'm alone, without her - far from home, in Oslo,

She was the only person that I allowed to know everything about me. Even Bosnia-Herzegovina she knew. Things that I would not allow anyone to know. for the following reasons:

- I used to have friends, they are mostly dead. I had to literally dishonorably discharge from the -incorporated- so corp, that I just fell while singing .... push me to the edge, all my friends are dead (RIP Chip).

- I traveled a lot, I never intended to show off in front of people, life is not made of fucking places but of moments, like that time I met that sultan that showed me what the meaning of -goldschlager- was, but she knew that

- I was a fucking badass, in our marriage day me and only me had to come up with some sex fight, so that spiced up it was, and she knew exactly the kind of man I was, exactly tho, yet, she accepted me for what I was, so she knew

in the meantime Oslo was freezing cold, all that helped me was the extremely good tasting cheap wine I got there, extremely cheap cheese and wine, extremely awesome hospitality of the natives of the area, the feeling was like music to my ears, in the meantime the only help I had was the picture of us, just above my computer, the radiance of happiness in her, in the black and white picture that represented us, just overlooked by my broken ear all-survivor bastet that always flies with me,

then last but not least:

- She was a person to learn from, she was wise, about everything, she pushed us as a couple to the limit, with her innocence and character, she was the awesome bit of the universe where I was happy ... so ....

Why did I leave her

Life is about sacrifices and the fact that I was on the hustle of getting what we want should be enough to be happy for the time -in the meantime- of waiting for her, but....

nothing, no candy, no bon-o-bon fucking alfajor, no cheap cheese or fiambre or awesome wine or light candle and picture of you and I, and cold awesome weather and no traveling getting to new places and excitement of walking 20 miles a day and no fucking fucked up anything can replace her. That my friends is the voice in my head saying: She is the most addictive drug could ever happen to me and I'm at a so much fucking fucked up abstinence syndrome from her right now.....


---- TO BE CONTINUED ---

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